Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships underpin wellness on so many levels. This often falls under the social category on wellness wheels, but we feel it deserves its own space. Healthy relationships nurture us, complement us, grow us and challenge us, all of which is incredibly beneficial to our overall wellness.

But how do you gauge your relationships? We don’t think volume gives perspective to the wellness benefits we glean from our relationships. The introvert may treasure fewer relationships whereas the gregarious extrovert may see more friends as their happy place.

We think the measure of healthy relationships is complex, but regardless of the components, malleability is a key element that relationships demand and exercise in us. We are constantly morphing as humans based on a myriad of influences, both physical and psychological, and both parties need to adapt regularly to keep the rhythm of the relationship flowing.

Other facets of healthy relationships include communication, trust, interdependence (not codependence), respect and support of each other.

Our book, “The Affinity Principle”, speaks to a number of these facets. This book is about mindful leadership, which if distilled down, is about building and nurturing healthy relationships with your team and other parties with whom you work.

In essence, maintaining healthy relationships demands flexibility and adaptability.

It demands that we are present and attentive. Maintaining strong healthy relationships is rarely seamless and does require effort, but the benefits of healthy friendships and partnerships far outweigh any efforts we make to meet in the middle.

Strong Sense of Community

This is the other side of the social component we’d like to break out and discuss independently.

There are five places in the world, called “Blue Zones,” where people live the longest, and are healthiest: Okinawa, Japan; Sardinia, Italy; Nicoya, Costa Rica; Ikaria, Greece, and Loma Linda, California.

Research has shown that the strongest indicator of longevity is, you guessed it: a strong sense of community.

In Okinawa, they use the term “Moai” to describe a community group that forms around the individual to provide support ranging from health to spiritual counseling.

The concept of Moai was originally designed to pool the village’s financial resources so if someone needed capital for a project or an emergency, or the village needed some public works completed, they had the resources to help. This concept expanded to become more of a support network, and a cultural tradition for establishing companionship.

In neighborhoods across Okinawa, friends regularly gather to gossip, share advice and experiences, support each other and even provide financial assistance when necessary. They call these groups their Moai. 

Dan Buettner determined in his research around the Blue Zones that institutions such as the Moai provide social connectedness that help reduce stress, add to people’s happiness and help community members ultimately live longer and stronger lives. Okinawans have their Moais, Sardinians meet with friends for regular happy hours and Adventists in California host weekly meals with their congregation.

Regardless of the location of the Blue Zone, community is the strongest common thread that runs through every Blue Zone Dan Buettner studied. In a recent study of social connectedness and longevity by Harvard Professor Lisa Berkman, she determined that whether it was familial, a tight-knit group of friends, through volunteerism, or some other form of regular social connection, the bond that the group shared was all that mattered in creating greater health and longevity.

When we distil the benefits of being a part of a healthy community, the benefits go well beyond longevity. People with a solid support network feel less stressed and generally happier. They are far less likely to develop chronic disease or depression. In general, having strong community ties provides significant benefits for all the participant members.

We encourage you to seek and embrace a community wherever you can. Whether it is building connections through volunteerism, through an interest group, or simply by reaching out to your neighbors, enhanced community connections bring many benefits and wellness follows.